Twitter wars: Can you guess which of these Dr Koukash tweets are real?

Correspondent

He’s not just any old club owner, oh no; he’s the down-the-pub everyman who tweets like mad and goes for a few post-match pints with the fans: he’s the Nigel Farage of Super League, Dr Marwan Koukash.

Since taking over Salford last year, the good Doctor has been in the rugby headlines none-stop, whether he’s arguing with the RFL, trying to push the idea of a marquee player (see 4Fs Issue 2) or just generally making his voice heard. And a lot of these headlines have come from his unfiltered twitter account.

So what does the internet do in situations like this?

It makes a parody.

Enter Dr Kockrash. ‘The Man, the Myth, the Kock”.

Described by the Giants’ own Stuart Fielden as “the funniest account on Twitter”, @DrKockrash is one of the forerunners of the Rugby-League-Twitter-Parody scene (yep, that’s now a thing), alongside the RFL Disciplinary page @RugbyDiscipline, Stevo @Stevo_RL, Nigel Wood @ChairmanNige, and the sadly now defunct Craig Sandercock @sandymember (R.I.P), Dr K has been keeping the masses entertained for quite some time. Unfortunately, as the real Koukash account gets more outlandish, outspoken and outrageous, it’s hard to remember who’s who, something which both doctors have addressed:

 

So, seeing as we’re living in the Twitter age, it’s important to be able to distinguish between a parody

and the real thing. This calls for a little game. Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you: Koukash vs Kockrash

We’re going to give you a few real tweets below, and it’s up to you to tell us who said it: the good doctor himself, or his parody counterpart. The answers are at the bottom of the page. We wish you the best of luck!

 

1. I would definitely love to name a horse “Nigel Wood” if he gives me permission. I am talking about permission from the horse

2. I had a dream last night, the RFL were great. Then, I wake up and what a bloody nightmare, I was only dreaming and nothing changed.

3. Welcome Mason Caton-Brown. Along with B Jones-Bishop I’m now strictly employing players with double barrelled names. J Jones Buchanan next.

4. Shall obey the RFL. Shall not swear. Shall not use Twitter. Shall always say it is unanimous vote. Shall not ask for increase in SC. NOT ME BOYS

5. Dear Rugby players, thank you for not being Football players. #RealMen

6. I really do hope it’s Leeds v Wire just to do away with these conspiracy theories. As if @TheRFL are competent enough to arrange a fix!

7. I dreamt last night that the salary cap was increased. I have just realised, it was only a dream and cannot carry on signing more players!

8. (After asking for a good place to go for a drink in Huddersfield and being told about the infamous Ricky’s Strip Bar) Where mate? Will go there. Will leave Mandy at home

9. That’s it Nigel, you don’t invite me to Wimbledon , I won’t invite you to Chester races.

10. To all my Rugby League followers pretending to care about Football, fear not, Rugby League is almost upon us! #wrongshapedball

11. I had to do mine and the kids tea tonight as my wife is busy finalising her bid to buy Bradford. I hope nothing will stand in her way

12. I mean it’s flattering that Stevo and Eddie have spent the last 20 minutes talking about me but there is a game being played, lads!

13. My wife took me to see Beyonce in Manchester. I will stick to watching Rugby League.

 

Taken, with permission, from Fee Fi Fo Fum, the official Huddersfield Giants Fanzine. Read issue 5 of Fee Fi Fo Fum for free here: http://4fsfanzine.giantssupporters.co.uk/

Answers: Koukash: 1, 2, 4, 7, 8, 9, 11, 13. Kockrash (parody) 3, 5, 6, 10, 12.

Super League Salford Red Devils