Hull FC star Sam Eseh lifts lid on mother’s cancer journey in emotional interview

Sam Eseh has flourished at Hull FC this season and proved to parent club Wigan Warriors, and himself, that he can perform consistently well in Super League.

But the imposing prop forward’s progress has come against a backdrop of adversity and heartache after his beloved mother Agnes was diagnosed with stomach cancer earlier this year.

Eseh, 22, was raised by Agnes in a single-parent family on a tough council estate in Halton Moor, Leeds.

The Yorkshireman is extremely close to his mum, a 53-year-old nurse, and has supported her closely since her diagnosis in January.

‘Seventy percent of her stomach removed’

Eseh returned to Hull FC on a season-long loan in February and is hoping to feature in Sunday’s crunch derby clash at Hull Kingston Rovers.

Eseh said: “It started last August on the day of Magic Weekend at Elland Road.

“My mum dropped me off at Xscape to get picked up on the Hull FC team coach and the following day she drove up to Northallerton where she was working.

“She was sweating and thought it was the menopause but ended up collapsing, her blood pressure was dropping and an ambulance was called.

“She spent five days in hospital in Northallerton and was eventually diagnosed with stomach cancer earlier this year.”

Agnes, born in England but of Cameroonian heritage, has since had 70% of her stomach taken out after a six-hour operation involving keyhole surgery to remove the cancerous tumour.

She has also since undergone gruelling chemotherapy which was completed at the end of July.

Agnes is keen to speak about her plight to raise awareness of stomach cancer.

She said: “In the African and black community, we tend not to be open about what we’re going through in life.

“If someone is ill, we keep it in the family and it’s almost frowned upon when you tell people about an illness.

“I’m speaking about it publicly because talking can be therapeutic and I want to try and change how people think.

“When I first became ill, it became like Chinese Whispers and started to affect my mental health.

“People were saying ‘Agnes is suffering, I’ve heard she’s got cancer’ and it got to the point where I just needed to talk about it.

“It’s an important part of healing when you can talk openly because it’s not something to be ashamed about.

“You hear about people surviving cancer, but not too much. You usually hear if people are cancer free or if it’s terminal; you never hear about the journey in between.

“Yes, cancer is a critical illness, but it has different stages – some become terminal and some don’t.

“I’m trying to raise awareness in my own community where people can freely ask questions rather than hiding away and bottling things up.

“I hope by doing this that other cancer sufferers will spot the signs earlier. I was fortunate that my diagnosis was stage 2.”

Having a large part of her stomach removed was traumatic to say the least.

Agnes explained: “There were surgical complications and at one point my stomach prolapsed and went inside out, so anything I ate led to vomiting and dehydration.

“I spent three months in and out of hospital and it was so hard. I don’t know how Sam coped to be honest.”

Yet as Agnes battled bravely, her son prospered in the pressure-cooker environment of Super League.

Eseh has yet to play for Wigan since joining them from Wakefield Trinity at the start of last season.

But brief spells at Castleford Tigers and Leeds Rhinos were the prelude to another loan move to Hull FC last year before he returned there this season.

Eseh explained: “There have been days when I would come back from a tough training session and then visit my mum at St James’ Hospital in Leeds.

“I would see how many people are ill and going through different situations.

“I probably thought I was having the worst day ever after having to do a particularly long conditioning session.

“But there are people with life-threatening and life-changing illnesses.

“I was seeing my mum with a tube in her nose and I’m feeling sorry for myself because I’ve had to run a bit while getting paid for it.

“In hindsight, it wasn’t that bad. I think she would probably be disappointed if I used her illness as an excuse not to apply myself well.

“There’s an African proverb which says “a lioness can never give birth to a goat” and she calls me a lion because I’ve grown up with just my mum.”

Agnes’ treatment has finished but she will be undergo regular checks for the next five years to ensure the cancer has not returned.

She says: “The rate of stomach cancer survival rate is 35% but also depends on your age, the stage and how you respond to your treatment. Stomach cancer is one of the least known types of cancer.

“My stomach has been reduced and what I’m trying to say is that black people work a lot and sometimes we need to take a break and educate ourselves.”

A self-confessed workaholic, Agnes is yet to return to her job as a nurse but plans to at some point this year.

“I think I’ve got to slow down a little bit and realise what matters in life,” she says.

“The company I joined only three months prior to my diagnosis have been so good in supporting me through the whole process.

“My family have been amazing too – my sisters, my cousin and his wife and obviously Sam.

“Words cannot express my gratitude for their support and no matter how many times I say thank you it won’t be enough.

“I enjoy work but I see things differently now and I appreciate things more.

“I hope I will be a better nurse as well because I’ve been a patient for the past few months.

“I see things from the eyes of a patient now and I appreciate what nurses do.

“I’m not as anxious about things as I used to be – I have to protect my health and wellbeing and want to continue that way.

“I’ve seen Sam grow and with the way he’s handled my situation, I know now that if I’m not here, he’s a good man and can look after himself.”

Eseh is back living at home with his mother in Leeds and has been an important figure for John Cartwright’s side this season.

He said: “I’ve been like an emotional sponge to my mum since her diagnosis, regardless of whether she’s been happy or sad.

“She would probably feel even worse if I showed that her illness has affected my rugby career – but it hasn’t at all.

“It actually probably helped because the strength she showed helped me to maintain my form in rugby league and keep pushing on.

“I’m quite proud of myself because my main goal has always been to play consistent Super League rugby to a high standard.

“Not just playing but thriving and having an impact on the game. And I think I’ve done that this year at Hull FC.”

Agnes, meanwhile, aims to raise awareness of stomach cancer, adding: “I plan to start a Facebook page to talk about what I’ve been through.

“I want to keep raising awareness and hopefully I’m lucky enough to stay cancer-free.”

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